no one knows
by darkened-soul
Summary: Hermione is hating her life. everything is going wrong. who will be there for her? LAST cHAPTER IS UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!so REVIEW or FLAME!
1. abusing father and a knife!

A/N- this is just something I thought of. Its like a lot of those Hermione cuts herself and finds comfort in someone besides Ron and Harry kinda fics. So r/r and flame if you like. It's my 1st fic. so be TOTALLY honest.

Disclaimer- I don't own Harry Potter JK Rowling does. I just own this plot. If its likes other peoples plots well sorry I didn't try to copy. 

HERMIONES POV

I was having the same dream again. The dream where I was in a tower and I was looking down. It seemed like I was about to jump. Then I saw a pair of eyes watching me and I turned around.

I awoke with a start and ran into the hall bathroom turning on the water and splashing it on my face. I didn't know why but that dream always scared me. It was so real but, I could never see who it was watching me just eyes. And I don't even remember what the eyes looked like.

I turned around to go back into my room but I ran into someone. It was my dad. He looked at me for a second, then he slapped me. He has slapped me before but this time was worse. 

"I was sleeping peacefully with Marie then I heard the water running. Are you deliberately trying to make your new mom, my new wife, hate me?" he asked with anger flashing in his eyes.

My mom died 2 months ago because she had a heart attack when she caught my dad with another women. Last week my dad married the women, Marie. I hated her from the beginning. When she found out I was a witch she wanted nothing to do with me. She still married my dad and since then he has been hitting me for everything I do wrong.

When I didn't answer him he took a knife out from behind his back. "Sit down girl" he said and I sat down on the toilet afraid of what was about to happen. He put the knife to my left ankle and said, "every time you do something wrong to me or to anyone at school or even to yourself I want you to cut yourself. Right ankle the first time. Left ankle the 2nd time. Right knees the 3rd, left the 4th. Right thigh the 5th, left the 6th. Right arm the 7th cut, left arm the 8th cut. The ninth cut can be where ever and the 10th cut, the last cut. In your heart till you die." I stared at him as he put the sharp bladed knife in my hand. "So I want you to come back with atleast 7 cuts and if you have none we will go straight to the 10th. Do you understand? Its not like I want you alive anyways. Marie and me are trying for another kid and then your out of the house! So do you get the picture of what I want you to do?"

"Yes, so I cut myself when I feel the need to basically?" I asked. he nodded then left. I looked at the knife then thought about how everything in my life was wrong. I put the knife to my ankle and slid it through. When I was done, it bled for a few minutes. I just looked at it and I thought how much I enjoyed doing that. 

Me, Hermione Granger. Top student at Hogwarts and a miss know it all. I had two best friends Harry Potter, the boy that lived, and Ron Weasley, Harry's best friend. I had straightened my hair during my 5th year at Hogwarts so I looked a lot better. This would be my 7th and final year at Hogwarts. I didn't intend on returning home after school either. Marie was almost pregnant and I knew they didn't want me. Tomorrow I was going to Hogwarts, this is the last night I would be here. I went into my room and put the knife in my bag. Then I slept again.


	2. more abuse and who is head boy?

A/N- hey thanx SO much for reviewing! And they aren't bad! I KNOW THE STORY IS WEIRD! I have a very unique sense of style! Okay well here is the 2nd chapter this is Dracos POV then Hermione has a little part in this chapter. The rating is PG-13 because of the cutting and I was going to put some cussing in this chapter. So r/r flame if you please… and enjoy….

Disclaimer- I don't own Harry Potter JK Rowling does. I just own this plot and story line!

MALFOYS POV

I was in a tower hiding where no one could see me. I was watching a girl with brown hair. She took out a knife and cut her ankle, while she mumbled a few words. Then I heard her say "go to hell dad, go to hell." She leaned over the window like she was about to jump. Then she saw me, she turned around and stared at me but I couldn't see her face. 

I sat up in bed sweating as if it was 100 degrees in my room. I had that dream 4 times this week and it seemed more real each time. In every dream though, I couldn't see the face. Just long, brown hair.

I heard yelling and the sounds of things breaking, so I crept out of bed and silently walked to the library. My mom and dad were arguing and they were throwing everything and anything at each other. My dad threw a book and it hit my mother's head. She grabbed a lamp and it hit his leg. I didn't want to see anymore. Almost every night this happens and I hate seeing it. 

I went back to my room and thought about my life. My name was Draco Malfoy and I was a seventh year at Hogwarts as of tomorrow. I was also head boy this year, and unfortunately, my worst enemies' girlfriend was head girl. Harry Potter, the boy that lived, the boy that made my life seem like a living hell. I hated Potter, he was always the hero and always the best friend. Him and his friend Ron Weasley always got into trouble but since he was a hero. He always got out. They had another friend, a mudblood, Hermione Granger, who was head girl. She wasn't his girlfriend but anyone can tell they are gonna end up together. This would be my last year at Hogwarts, and I would have to live with Granger. After Hogwarts I didn't intend on living here much longer. I expect my dad to send me a letter saying 'don't come back I killed your mother', even though she could probably kill him.

I was glad this was my last year and I hoped it would go by quickly enough.

*~*~~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

I awoke the next morning and my mom dropped me off at platform 9 ¾. Earlier my dad told me he would owl me every once in a while. My mom told me not to worry about him and her fighting they would be just fine. I didn't believe her but I got out of the car and walked through the wall.

The first thing I saw was the huge Hogwarts express, then I saw Potter and Weasley. Being who I am I walked up to them.

"What do you want Malfoy?" Potter said like he was annoyed with me already. I loved doing this to them.

"So is your precious girlfriend head girl this year?" I asked. They probably didn't know I was head boy. I wasn't supposed to know Granger was head girl but Professor Snape told me.

"yeah she is head girl, and shes not his girlfriend either! Why do you want to know anyway." Weasley yelled, hmm maybe he was jealous.

"well when you see Potters _girlfriend_ tell her I am head boy." I said and watched there jaws drop.

"Mione's going to freak out." Weasley said and I walked off leaving them standing there.

*~*~*~*~*~*~* Hermione's POV

I sat in the car with my dad in front of the platform. He looked at me then at my ankle.

"Well, I guess you were smart enough to cut it. Hmm when I told your mom to cut herself she said 'i dont give a damn what you want me to do' huh look where she is now."

Where's the knife I gave you?" he asked me and I showed him the knife in the pocket of my robes. "good, if your mother would have done that she wouldn't be in hell right now" he said as I got my trunk out of the car.

"Actually dad, if you weren't fucking around with Marie she wouldn't be dead!" I screamed and shut the door. I walked through the wall and saw the train then Harry and Ron ran towards me.

"Hermione Malfoy is head boy!" Ron yelled first thing. I couldn't believe my ears I almost fainted. I get in an argument with my dad and am glad to come here and I have to live with Malfoy?

"He is!?" "YES! He is! we are so sorry to have to tell you that!" Harry said as he and Ron pulled me into a hug.

"Oh great! First day back and it already sucks!" I said as they pulled back and looked at me. Good thing they didn't notice the knife in my pocket.

"SO umm how was your summer?" Harry asked. I didn't tell them about my mom dying, my dad abusing me or Marie. I just shrugged and said, "it was okay." As we walked to the train. This was going to be the worst year ever!


	3. the fight and dracos discovery! (last wo...

AN- alright here it is chapter 3! Thanx for all the reviews you guyz rock! So r/r I know its weird but the plot and juicy stuff is just starting to come! Review before I post the next chapter!

Disclaimer- I DO NOT own Harry Potter JK Rowling does. I just own this plot…

Hermione's POV

Harry, Ron and I got a compartment at the end of the train. Harry and Ron were talking about the fantastic time they had at the burrow. I wasn't really listening. Then Ginny Weasley Ron's sister came in and took Harry's hand.

Harry smiled and said, "well Ron, Hermione. Ginny and me are now going out! I asked her last night and she said yes." Ron's mouth dropped open when Harry kissed Ginnys cheek. I was surprised but I expected it!

"Ron please don't be mad! You knew we liked each other and he is your best friend so you know how much he cares about me!" Ginny said, still holding Harry's hand.

Ron got up and walked out of the compartment I followed him. "Ron please don't be mad at them! He is your best friend and she is your sister! Be happy for them!" I said taking Ron's hand. Then I looked around the compartment and found Malfoy staring at us. "Come on Ron, Malfoy is here. Go back to Harry and Ginny!

"Whats wrong with the Weasel? Sisters in love with Potter? Figures! By the way Granger did your now X boyfriend tell you I am Head Boy?" Malfoy said staring at me with his endless gray eyes. For hating him so much I had to admit he had great eyes!

"shut up Malfoy. Hermione never went out with Harry. I told her about you being head boy and yes Ginny and Harry are officially a couple!" Ron spat at him and sat down in a seat. *~*~*~*~*~*~ Dracos POV

for some odd reason I couldn't stop staring at the mudblood! I hated her but she really was pretty. To think Potter is going out with a red hair, freckle face, when he could have her. Wait a second? What was I saying? Did I just think "good" things about Granger? A mudblood? Well even for a mudblood she was pretty!

She sat down next to Weasley and I caught a glimpse of something in her robe pocket. It looked like a knife. Then I saw her ankle was cut and it looked new. Hmm wonder why shes cut and has a knife? She could have cut herself. Why would miss perfect cut herself though.

"okay hermione I can go back now, just hold me back!" Weasley said. And her and Weasley got to the door when I spoke.

"you know Granger, you shouldn't keep a knife in your pockets, it could cut through and stab you. Speaking of cuts, you should clean the blood off your ankle." She turned around and stared at me. Weasley stared at her and she pushed him out of the door. Well apparently, she doesn't want anyone to know about her little kn


	4. a/n! (read then review chapter 3 PLEASE!...

AN/ okay this is not a chapter just me asking some questions please answer them by the reviews or I cant post another chapter!

Okay I want something big to happen so what should it be? These are what I was thinking if you think 1 should happen tell me!

Pansy and Hermione become best friends then Hermione gets transferred in Slytherin. (the knife and cutting will still be tied in along with draco!) Draco continues to be an ass to Hermione and they never become friends in this story (I really don't like this one) Harry, Hermione, and Ron get in a fight then Ron and Harry are bastards so Hermione makes friends with the Slytherin's but still cuts herself! Harry asks Hermione to the dance but she turns his sorry ass down! (I thought that would be fun!) Pansy notices Hermione's cuts and then she comforts her. Ron and Harry go home for Christmas and come back to see Hermione with Pansy. Hermione is in love with Ron but he tells her he is gay and is madly in love with Colin Creevy. So Hermione cuts herself. 

OKAY TELL ME WHAT YOU THINK! ALL OF THESE WILL STILL HAVE DRACO AND THE KNIFE THING! SO HELP ME OUT B4 I DO THE NEXT CHAPTER! THANX!


	5. rooms, french-fries, and abuse books!

A/N- alright on with the story. Remember tell me what should happen cause I want a big surprise thing somewhere. (Should I do a happy or sad ending?) Until then here is the real 4th chapter so r/r I hate flames but they are acceptable I don't take criticism well but I don't know how to shoot a gun, so if you flame me don't worry! Lol JK I do know how to shoot a gun. No fear though I am against using them. I start school tomorrow so the next chapter wont be up for a few days! Here we go then….. REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW

Disclaimer- I do not own Harry Potter STILL! JK Rowling STILL does. I still just own this plot. 

Hermione's POV

I couldn't believe he saw the knife and the cut! Ron was about to ask about it but we walked in on Harry and Ginny making out! Ron screamed and pulled Ginny off him. I thought he said he was okay now.

"Ronald Weasley don't touch me! I can make my own decisions! I like Harry and if I want to kiss him, I will! No matter what you do he is my boyfriend!" Ginny screamed and slapped Ron.

He stared at her stunned and let her go. He turned to Harry who was very embarrassed! Ron looked angry but he just said, "fine". That was good enough because I realized we were at Hogwarts. 

Dracos POV….

At the great hall I looked at Granger a few times she wouldn't meet my eyes she just looked very uncomfortable. I definitely knew that it was because of what I said earlier. So something was up with the knife that bothered her. I was determined to figure out what it is. I hated her and could use it for blackmail! I would be living with her so this would be a lot easier to do. Dumbledore stood up after the feast and asked for attention

"It is now my pleasure to announce the head boy and girl. This years head boy and head girl are Draco Malfoy and Hermione Granger!" we both walked on stage as the houses cheered. Although Slytherins and Gryffindor's were giving each table death glares, it was a good moment. "Now, prefects lead the houses to their rooms and have a good night!" Dumbledore said as he motioned for Granger and me to follow him.

We went up many staircases and walked into a nice hallway with a painting at the end. It was a painting of a man with a head boy badge. Behind him was the Hogwarts castle. "The password for your room will be French-fries. A very good muggle food if I might add" Dubledore added with an amused look. He said french-fries and the portrait swung open. Insaid there was a very bid common room with a couch and two armchairs across from each other with a table between them. There were two staircases and a door in-between them. "okay left staircase is yours, Draco, Hermione is the right staircase. The bathroom is right there and this is your common room. You will live together for the whole year so please learn to get along. Don't kill each other before the Yule Ball because you two are planning it together. Other then that I will see you tomorrow. Good night." He said and left the room through the portrait. 

Granger sighed and headed up her stairs as I headed up mine. At the top there was a door, I opened it and found myself in a big room. It was only slightly bigger then my room at the mansion but it would have to do. The bed was big, then there was a desk and a place to hang clothes. I knew that I would be spending a lot of time here so I didn't have to be in the common room with Granger all the time. If I was with her I could find out about the knife though. I smirked and headed downstairs.

Hermione's POV

I walked into my room. It was beautiful! A huge bed it was the Gryfinnder colors. There was a desk in the corner of the room and it was so much bigger then my own room. 

I picked up a muggle book I bought last week when my dad started hitting me, called _ABUSE: TO TELL OR TO KEEP SECRET_. I desperately want to tell someone about my dad preferably Dumbledore but I couldn't yet. I was going to go to the common room to read it but then I thought Malfoy would see the book.. Oh well, I thought, I will tell him It was the first book I saw so I got it. I walked down the stairs and saw Malfoy in a chair. So I sat on the couch. He looked at me but I started to read ignoring his gaze completely. I saw him see the title of my book and he chuckled a little.

"Something funny Malfoy?" I asked him though I knew it was the book title. He looked at me and stopped chuckling.

"Well, I am wondering why you are reading a book about abuse. Did your mother slap you for not cleaning your room?" he asked. The color drained from my face. He didn't know my mom was dead and I didn't want him to know but I was on the verge of tears. "What's wrong Granger? Going a little pale aren't you?" he said. That was it I was about to burst into tears.

"My mother is dead for your information Malfoy!" I screamed and ran up to my room and cried. I sat there for a while and stopped crying. I quickly changed and got into bed. I fell asleep thinking about my mom, my dad, where I would go after Hogwarts and the knife in my robe pockets.

DRACO's POV

I felt like a jerk but then remembered that's who I was a jerk, a Malfoy. She was reading the same muggle book I found my mom reading one night over the summer after my dad beat her and told her don't tell anyone. But why would Hermione be reading that book? Why would she have a book on abuse, a knife and a cut? 

I could not sleep I kept thinking about her. Why should I give a damn anyway? I hated Granger and she hated me. I was thinking to much about her personal life, that I fell asleep. 


	6. Harrys surprise, and the knife

A/N- alrighty the awaited chapter (hopefully) is here. I had school today and I got an idea! Lol during Pre Advanced TX History I just got this idea and its now in words! Yea! Lol okay thanx for ALL the reviews they mean a lot! SO read, review, if ya flame I don't own a gun but I am a damn good shooter! Just kidding so here it is…………..

Disclaimor- still don't own. JK Rowling still does. Just the plot like it said in al the other chapters!!!

HERMIONES POV

I woke up from the same dream. It seems so real! Why can't they just stop! However, this time more detail was on the dream. This time I had the knife and actually cut myself then I was about to jump, but I saw those eyes! 

Now I am convinced this dream might come true! Infact I have the urge to go to the astronomy tower right now and cut myself. But I am not going to till later. I got outta bed, put on my robes, and did my hair. I would be early to breakfast but that would be fine today. I walked down the stairs to the common room with my bag of books, I did not see Malfoy and I was thrilled! When I got to the great hall I was the first Gryffindor there. Though when I sat down and started eating a noticed there were some Ravenclaws, Hufflepuffs, and there was 1 Slytherin. The Slytherin was staring straight at me and I ignored their eyes and quickly ate. When I was almost done, I looked up. The same Slytherin was still staring at me. Pansy (a/n not Malfoy cause at this point he is still in the common room. After all, it's very early.)

Then Ron and Harry came over and sat next to me as more people began piling into the great hall.

"Hey Hermione, how'd last night go? Sharing a place with Malfoy must be like living in hell." Ron said as he started eating his food. Very pig like. 

"Well, we did get in a short argument but I didn't see him this morning. We have to plan the Yule Ball together to! Plus this morning we have double potions with the Slytherins!" I told them, of course I left out why we Malfoy and Me faught.

"Double Potions with the Slytherins? Damn its only the first day of classes and they want to torture us already!" Ron said. Just then I noticed Malfoy came in and sat at his table next to Pansy. 

"Sorry you have to work with Malfoy for the Yule Ball that must be horrible!" Harry said and I nodded. We finished breakfast and walked to potions.

In potions class we sat at the back as everyone else piled in. Snape came in and smirked at us.

"I see the golden Harry Potter trio is still together. I hoped over the summer they would get bored of each other and stop being friends." He said. This was going to be a long long year!

_~~~~~~~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~~~~~~~~~~~~~~_________~~~~_~_~_~

(a/n lets skip ahead here till december!) It was 2 weeks before the Yule Ball. Malfoy and me still had a lot to do but we managed this far without killing each. We argued since the beginning of school but it wasn't like throwing knife arguing. We never mentioned my mom being dead or me reading the Abuse book. Of course I still cut myself all the time. I had scars because some spells got rid of the cuts and left them. There wasn't one person that noticed so I figured I could get away with it till the end of the year. Then I figured I had enough money in the Gringotts to get a room at the Leaky Cauldron. I was expecting a letter from my dad saying Marie was pregnant I hadnt gotten one yet but I knew it was only a matter of time! The day after the Yule Ball Harry and Ron were going to the burrow and well they didn't ask me so I was staying here. 

MALFOY'S POV

It was almost Christmas vacation and I received a letter from my mom this morning. It seems that the bastard who is my father so happened to hit my mom with a baseball and put her in the ER at a muggle hospital it was so bad. She said she was fine now but my dad brought home a 30-year-old the other day and probably slept with her. So my mom is constantly writing saying don't come home. I wish I could though I don't want her to get hurt. 

Moreover, Granger was staying for the holidays. We weren't killing each other but we fought a lot. I never mentioned her mom. I went in her room the other day when she was at lunch and found blood on her sheets. I saw her once in the common room cutting her arm. I was in an invisibility cloak so she didn't see me. She does not think I know she cuts herself but I do. I see scars all over. Shes gone pale and looks like shes dead. She has lost a lot of blood. It was time for dinner then I had to meet Granger and finish the Yule Ball.

Hermiones POV

I went to the hall for dinner and sat down next to Harry. He glanced at me and smiled. Across from me at the table Ron also smiled. That was weird. 

"Hermione I have something to ask you" Harry said and I saw Ginny down the table start to cry and walk out of the Great Hall. I wondered what was up. Ron was shaking his head no to Harry though. "Hermione will you go to the Yule Ball with me?" he asked and I droped my food on the floor real loud and screamed. Everyone glared at me but then I realized Ron was screaming to.

"WHAT?" I shouted and Ron stood up and so did I. Everyone even the teachers were looking at us.

"I sorta broke up with Ginny to ask you to the Yule Ball." Harry said and the color drained from my face.

"HARRY YOU ONLY ASKED HER BECAUSE YOU ARE BISEXUAL AND ARE IN LOVE WITH COLIN AND HERMIONE!" Ron shouted and everyone in the hall even teachers gasped and started whispering. Harry started to cry.

"Ron you werent supposed to tell! You said you would never tell! I love hermione and I only LIKE Colin. I might like guys but I still like girls! Hermione PLEASE go with me to the Yule Ball!:

"HARRY I WILL NOT GO WITH YOU TO THE YULE BALL IF YOU LIKE SOMEONE ELSE AND ESPECIALLY IF IT'S A GUY! YOU ALSO BROKE UP WITH GINNY FOR THIS! HARRY I WILL NOT GO WITH YOU TO THE YULE BALL EVER!" I shouted and walked out of the great hall. I walked out the doors and up to the astronomy tower with my knife in hand. 


	7. Rons a BADASS! lol not really just r/r B...

A/N- okay from now on I WILL NOT post another chapter until I get 4 reviews for each chapter. Sorry but I just need more reviews so I can tell if you people like my story or hate it. HOWEVER, here is the next chapter I left off where Hermione goes to the astronomy tower. But what was Draco doing when Ron, Harry, and Hermione were yelling? Well your bout to find out……..

Disclaimer- I don't own Harry Potter JK Rowling does like in all the chapters I wrote it says I just own the plot. Say it with me 1…2…3… "I just own the plot" good for you! Wanna cookie?

DRACOS POV

Everyone watched as Granger ran out of the room and Potter started crying. Weasley stood there for a second then he also ran out. Everyone was whispering about Harry coming out of the closet and I finished eating. I knew Granger was going to do something like cut herself. So I quickly went to my room, grabbed my invisibility cloak and went to the tower. I knew from my dream she would be there.

When I got there, I saw Granger standing there with the knife. I didn't want to stop her. I knew she would hate me even more if she knew that I had been spying on her. So I watched as she took the blade and slid it through her knee. Immediately blood fell covering her clothes and knee. She smirked and took out her wand. She said a quick spell and all the blood disappeared leaving a scar on her knee. She turned around and I watched her leave. I took off my cloak and headed towards the common room. Granger was sitting on the couch staring intently at the fire.

"Hey Granger, I heard about Harry and you and his love for Collin." I said and sat in an armchair.

"I think everyone heard that Malfoy. I know that we hate each other Mafloy but I need your help.do you think I should forgive Harry? Should I go to the Yule Ball with him? Do you think he DOES love me?" she asked me still looking at the fire. Normally I would have said yes we do hate each other so I can't give you advice but this time was different. 

"Granger, I don't know you or Harry except that we hate each other. However, I don't think you should go with him to the Yule Ball. He might like girls but he also likes guys. I think he loves you but he just likes Colin. If you go to the dance with him you will know he has feelings for Colin and you will be very unhappy." I smirked, "though I love to see you unhappy so I say go with him, and I thought it was so funny how you dumped Harry Potter's, the boy that lived, sorry ass!"

She giggled. "Well I am not going to go with him. I would rather sit in my room and ponder over why Harry had to turn out to be gay! The guy I thought I would always love ends up loving Colin." She laughed again. "That's my life though! One thing changes everything." She said and stood up. She looked at me for a second then said "goodnight Malfoy and thank you. Even if we hate each other you still helped me." With that she walked upstairs leaving me standing there. "Your welcome Hermione." I said to myself and went upstairs to my room to sleep.

HERMIONE'S POV

I went to my room and sat on my bed. I couldn't get over the shock of finding out Harry liked guys! He said he loved me but he liked Colin. Malfoy was right. If I did go with Harry I would know he had feelings for someone else. Then there was poor Ginny, he broke up with her for me. I wondered what tomorrow would bring. 

*~*~*~

The next morning I got dressed early and went to breakfast early so I wouldn't have to see Harry and Ron. When I got to the Great Hall and sat down I noticed the same Slytherin staring at me. Pansy. Why did she always stare at me? Ever since the beginning of school. EVERY morning! I avoided her eyes like always and ate. Many people were staring at me because of yesterday. A few Hufflepuff's even came over and said they felt so sorry for me. Then Ron came in and sat next to me. 

"Hermione, I am REALLY sorry for not telling you about Harry, but I am also really sorry for telling you. I know how much you wanted to go with Harry to the Yule Ball. I just thought you should know Harry DOES love you and cares about you. Even if you can't be together he will always care." Ron said looking at me concerned, as two Ravenclaws walked by and said " Hermione, you do not need Harry!" and they walked away. 

"Ron, I don't blame you. I realize that Harry loves me but he likes Colin! For goodness sake I cant ever be with a guy that's sexually confused! I love Harry and I will always be his friend. But NOTHING more! I did want to go to the Yule Ball with him but screw the Yule Ball. I am not going anymore." I said and finished eating as Ron started on his food. 

A few Slytherin 5th years walked by and shook their heads at me. Ron scowled and sent them a death glare. Just then Ginny came in and sat across from me.

"Hey Ginny, I just wanted to say I am SO sorry about everything! I am never going to be with Harry and didn't want him to dump you. NEVER would I do that." I said and she nodded.

"Its okay Hermione. I realized I had feelings for someone else all along! He is not gay and even asked me to the Yule Ball yesterday! Its Neville Longbottom!" Ginny said and looked so happy. I smiled and said "Good for you Ginny! I am so glad for you!" Ron on the other hand looked like he was going to kill someone. Similar to what he looked like the day Harry and Ginny were going out. I knew this couldn't be good. He stood up, walked over to Neville and punched him.


	8. comfort at last (next chapter will be th...

A/N- thanks you everyone SO much for the reviews! I feel so loved! My story is loved! This is my first fanfic and I got good reviews so let me do a happy dance *dances*…*stops dancing*. OK well I know MR Malfoy is an ass. The Yule Ball might be in this chapter or it might not I have not decided yet. Harry is not gay. He is sexually confused and at the end, he is going to be either purely gay or purely straight. I haven't decided though. Has anyone wondered why Pansy is always staring at Hermione? No one has asked that yet! LoL but the answer will come soon. SO here is the next chapter…

Disclaimer- Don't Own. And I can't say it enough… JK ROWLING DOES!

Hermione's POV

Everyone in the Great Hall looked at Ron. Ginny ran to Neville and said "Ron! You broke his nose! I told you I could go out with whoever I wish to go out with! You are an over protective asshole of a big brother!" and she lifted Neville up and helped him to the hospital wing.

Ron turned to me with everyone still watching. "Hermione I am SO sorry. You know how I feel about these things! Harry dumped Ginny and if Neville does to then she will be crushed for life! I am just looking out for her!"

I looked at Ron and could tell he was sorry but I still was VERY angry. "Ron, I know Ginny would be crushed especially since the whole Harry thing, but that's part of life. Ginny likes Neville! Neville likes Ginny! Sure he could be sexually confused like Harry but, even if he would still like Ginny! Punching him is not a way to say get away from my sister!"

"Hermione, I am sorry I wasn't thinking. I suppose your right though. Harry likes Collin and guys but he still loves you. So I guess Neville does like my sister. I promise from now on I wont be an ass." He said and Harry came in and tapped my shoulder. 

"Hermione I need to speak to you." Everyone in the great hall looked interested so he add "ALONE!" but everyone just watched. 

"Hold on Harry." I turned to Ron. "Ron I forgive you but you need to talk to Ginny AND Neville. You owe them the apology not me." I said and grabbed Harry's arm and dragged him into the hall. Ron followed behind and went to the hospital wing with a quick-mouthed "thank you". 

Harry led me outside and we sat by the lake. "Hermione." He started and became interested in his shoe. "I am VERY sorry! I know how much I hurt you and I want you to know I still love you. I want you as more then a friend but I suppose our friendship is more important and if you will forgive me I would like to be best friends again." He looked at me then quickly back at his shoe.

"I would like that to Harry. I want to stay best friends and nothing more ever. If you like boys and girls then so be it. I will support you all the way. You want to like Collin and I will accept it." I said and we hugged and heard clapping behind us. We turned around and smiled almost the whole school was looking at us. A few of the same Ravenclaws and Hufflepuffs said "you don't deserve his friendship still" but I ignored that.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

It was now two days before the Yule Ball. I still wasn't going but it didn't matter. I was sitting in the common room at night reading the same Abuse book. Malfoy was doing Potions homework. Just then an owl flew in and dropped a letter on me. It was from my dad. i immediately ripped it open and read it. I started to cry and ran up to my room with Malfoy staring at me. I dropped the letter on my stairs without noticing.

DRACOS POV

I didn't know what was wrong with her. She received a letter and ran to her room. I put my Potion's book down and went to her stairs where she dropped the letter. I picked it up and sat on the couch I didn't want to be nosy but I could blackmail her with this. Therefore, I read it.

Dear Hermione,

Marie is pregnant. The baby will be born a month after you get out of school. I want you to understand even if I don't hate you I cant keep you. I put extra money in your Gringotts Vault. I hope you understand. Please get a room at a hotel and find a job. I hope you have a good life my former daughter. 

PS: I hope that knife had been used a lot. , your former dad.

Oh my god! I couldn't believe it! Miss Perfect's dad was… was disowning her! I assumed Marie was not her mother but someone else perhaps a stepmom? But then where was her mom? Its not that I cared but I couldn't use this as blackmail. I now knew that Grangers dad gave her the knife to cut herself. Then I stopped and remembered my dream. The girl was Granger! It made so much since now. I never thought about it all the times I saw her cut herself. I didn't remember that dream till now. I haven't had it since the last day at the Malfoy Manor.

I ran up her stairs and knocked on her door. "Granger! You dropped your letter!" I yelled and heard a sob. So I let myself in her room and saw her crying on her bed. I quickly lied and said "don't worry I didn't read it. Though I wish I knew what made you burst into tears." I sat on her bed next to her and put my arms around her without thinking. She just let her head fall on my chest and we did not seem to give a second thought that we hated each other. I just held her as she cried.

A/N- OKAY WELL THE NEXT CHAPTER ONCE I GET SOME REVIEWS! THE YULE BALL CHAPTER IS NEXT AND MORE ON DRACO'S PARENTS. THIS CHAPTER DRACO WAS A SAP AND THERE WAS TO MUCH FLUFF. THE NEXT CHAPTER HE WONT BE BACK TO HIS NORMAL SELF BUT HE WONT BE THIS HUGE BALL OF FLUFF AND LOVE! LOL SO R/R!


	9. ONE STEP CLOSER by LP (WARNING: SOME1 IS...

A/N- okay well this will be EXTRA EXTRA LONG! I AM WARNING YOU! So I expect LOTS of reviews! Okay? Thanx for liking my story! I am so happy my first fic got good reviews you are all SO AWESOME! I feel the love! I LOVE COOKIES! Sorry I am so hyperactive! 5 cans of cokes in 7 hours! YULE Ball chapter is up right after THIS ONE!

Disclaimer- I DON'T OWN HARRY POTTER JUST THE PLOT! I DON'T OWN THE SONG ONE STEP CLOSER! LINKIN PARK DOES! THOUGH I WISH I OWNED LINKIN PARK! THAT WOULD BE FUN!

Normal POV-

They sat there together holding on to each other as she cried. After about 10 minutes, they slowly pulled away. She wiped her eyes, which had no tears but were red. "Thank you Malfoy. Even if you hate me you are always there when I need you!" Hermione said. _Though I wish I could see the nice side of you more_, she thought.

"Its okay Granger. I have my nice moments. I hate seeing people cry. Anyways umm just please kinda don't…"

"Don't tell anyone that you actually were touching a mudblood? No fear Malfoy, I will take it to the grave." He nodded and walked out of the room.

*~*~*~*~*~*

Hermione's POV-

****

I cannot take this anymore  
I'm saying everything I've said before  
All these words they make no sense  
I find bliss in ignorance  
Less I hear the less you'll say  
But you'll find that out anyway  
Just like before... 

It was the day of the Yule Ball almost everyone was going to Hogsmead to get what they were going to wear and christmas presents. I wasn't going to go. I was sitting with Harry and Ron eatting breakfast when an owl came in and dropped a letter. I quickly opened it.

HERMIONE- Marie suggested we move so we are. I cant tell you where we are going for fear that you will try to visit us. All your things will be there on Christmas. DON'T TRY TO FIND US! YOU ARE NO LONGER PART OF OUR LIVES! That knife though might be your best friend till your dieing day. - Mr. Granger

I gasped and dropped my food on the floor. Harry and Ron looked at me I didn't move. I stared straight ahead. I felt my self-go pale. "HERMIONE? HELLO?" Ron said. I couldn't speak. "HERMIONE WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU!!!!" Ron screamed I didn't move but knew everyone in the Great Hall was looking at me. I stood up and ran as fast as I could out of the hall. I didn't know where I was going but I saw the lake outside. I took off my robe and jumped in the water in my uniform. For that second I didn't think about anything escept the pain my father caused me.

****

Everything you say to me  
Takes me one step closer to the edge  
And I'm about to break  
I need a little room to breathe  
Cause I'm one step closer to the edge  
And I'm about to break

I let myself sink to the bottom. The water was so cold it pierced my skin like 100 needles. I wanted to die. I didn't care about anyone or anything I just wanted to leave the world. I knew it was stupid. Killing yourself to escape problems but I didn't care.

****

I find the answers aren't so clear  
Wish I could find a way to disappear  
All these thoughts they make no sense  
I find bliss in ignorance  
Nothing seems to go away  
Over and over again  
Just like before... 

I felt my lungs ready to burst I felt the cold rushing through me and I felt my body temperature drop so many degrees.

****

Everything you say to me  
Takes me one step closer to the edge  
And I'm about to break  
I need a little room to breathe  
Cause I'm one step closer to the edge  
And I'm about to break  
Everything you say to me  
Takes me one step closer to the edge  
And I'm about to break  
I need a little room to breathe  
Cause I'm one step closer to the edge  
And I'm about to break  
Break break break break break

__

GO TO HELL DAD! I thought GO TO HELL!

****

shut up when I'm talking to you  
shut up shut up shut up   
shut up when I'm talking to you  
shut up shut up shut up shut up  
I'm about to break

then I heard someone call my name just as I could feel myself about to die. I heard a splash and a second later someone grabbed my arm. When I closed my eyes and knew I wouldn't be able to die for a minutes. Someone was saving me and I didn't know who it was. 

****

Everything you say to me  
Takes me one step closer to the edge  
And I'm about to break  
I need a little room to breathe  
Cause I'm one step closer to the edge  
And I'm about to break  
Everything you say to me  
Takes me one step closer to the edge  
And I'm about to break  
I need a little room to breathe  
Cause I'm one step closer to the edge  
And I'm about to break

Whoever it was pulled me out of the water. I still couldn't open my eyes. I did not want to know who saved me. "Granger! Granger you fucking idiot! What do you think your doing?" I recognized the voice. Malfoy. Why would he save me?

MALFOYS POV-

I didn't know why I saved her but I did. I knew she was trying to kill herself. I couldn't let myself know that without trying to stop her. She was shivering and I ran through her robe over her and picked her up. 

Everyone was already at Hogsmede so I carried her up to her room without anyone seeing us. I put her on her bed and threw her under her blankets. After being there for ten minutes he figured she was asleep and started to walk out when he heard her move.

"Why did you save me?" she asked me and truthfully I couldn't answer. I didn't know why I saved her. "I have no idea why I saved you. It was a spur of the moment kinda thing. I saw you in the lake and I figured you werent going for a morning swim. Why did you try to drown yourself?" I asked she just shook her head.

"I was fed up with life. I know killing yourself isnt a way to escape problems but I wasn't thinking. I cant thank you now cause I still want to die. I'm sure sometime this week I will be thanking you though." She said. And I nodded. "good enough for me. Don't worry I wont tell anyone, just PROMOSE ME YOU WONT DO THAT AGAIN!" I yelled.

"I wont she said I wont. 

NORMAL POV- little did he know she had her fingers crossed behind her back.


	10. YULE BALL! letters, the real question, t...

A/N- YULE BALL!

DISCLAIMER- DON'T OWN!

HERMIONE'S POV

I woke up a few hours later. I was still in my uniform that Malfoy did a drying spell on but It smelled like lake water. So I got up, changed into my other uniform, and put my other robe over that. It was 3 hours until the Yule Ball and I had no idea what I was going to do tonight. I went to the common room Malfoy wasn't there so I took out parchment and a quill and started writing. I wrote a letter to my dad, the last letter he would ever receive. When I was done it read:

MR GRANGER- HEY YOU BASTARD! I HOPE YOU KNOW I JUMPED IN THE LAKE TODAY AND TRIED TO KILL MYSELF. UNFORTUNANTLY FOR ME SOMEONE SAVED ME. I AM SO SURE YOU WISH I WOULD HAVE DIED. WELL SCREW YOU BASTARD I DIDN'T TRY TO KILL MYSELF FOR YOU. I DID IT SO I WOULDN'T TRACK YOU DOWN AND TAKE A KNIFE TO YOUR THROAT YOU ASS! *~HERMIONE

I read it over and walked to the owlery to send it. I felt glad I did that. Better then I had in days.

as I was walking back to my room I ran into Dumbledore and Malfoy on the stairs. _Oh shit! He said he wouldn't tell! I hope he isnt! _"Mrs. Granger we were just looking for you! Are you going to the Yule Ball tonight?" I shook my head no and he continued talking "Well the Head Boy and Girl have to be there for atleast the 1st hour. You don't have to dress up just go like you are now. You can hangout with your friends and eat. Or you can simply sit down and count the minutes till the hour is over!" he said and my heart dropped. I didn't want to go to the ball! 

"Okay sir, I guess I will just sit and count the minutes" I said. And he smiled. Then turned to Malfoy.

"Mr Malfoy?" and Malfoy hesitated then said "I wasn't planning on going but I guess I will and like Granger, count down the minutes." He said and Dumbledore smiled again. "WELL GOOD! I have an idea! How bout you to just sit at a table and talk to each other. As head boy and girl you cant hate each other!" and he walked off.

Malfoy looked at me and said "okay well guess once again we are stuck together again." I just laughed and started walking to the common room with him behind me.

When it was time for the ball I was sitting in the common room reading a muggle book. When Malfoy said "time to go.". I stood up and I followed him out of the room. We walked to the great hall passing everyone in their nice fancy clothes. I didn't give a damn what I looked like. We walked into the Great Hall and saw Dunbledore. He came over to us and led us to a table. "Here is your table. After an hour I will find you and tell you you may go. Have fun!" he said and left.

I sat at the table and Malfoy sat across from me. Food appeared infront of us and he started eating. While I was thinking. I decided I wouldn't eat anymore. No one could stop me from not eating really. I might get hungry but I wouldn't eat. Malfoy looked at me and said "are you going to eat?" I just shook my head and said "not hungry". HE stared at me for a few seconds and I raised my eyebrow as to say what? He just shook his head and continued eating. People started crowding into the Great Hall and I saw Harry and I Ron I tried to hide but I knew they saw me. Still I crawled under the table.

"Malfoy where's Hermione? She was just here." I heard Ron ask.. I didn't want to talk to them I knew they would question me about this morning. I pinched Malfoy's leg Hoping he would be nice and tell them he didn't know where I was.

"She said she forgot something in her room and would be back soon" he said and I thanked god he took the hint. I heard Ron and Harry walk off so I got up and sat back at the table. 

"thank you!" I said to Malfoy and he just smirked. "You have been saying that a lot lately!" I smiled "well you have been helping me lately!" I said and then an owl flew in with a letter for the 2nd time that day and dropped it on me (A/N lets say owl goes EXTREMELY fast aliright?) no doubt it was a response to my other later. The bastard would actually write me again? I quickly opened it and Malfoy wasn't looking so I read.

Hermione- you little bitch! If you would have killed yourself then no doubt that headmaster would make me come to your funeral! I would have to pretend I actually gave a damn about you! I bet you wont try it again though, I bet the pain was to much to handle! So I guess the question is dare to try the pain again? 

I finished reading it and told Malfoy I would be write back. I was going to get paper and a quill from my room to write him back.

MALFOY'S POV

Everyone was dancing and I watched them while Granger was gone. I noticed her letter and I decided to read it real quick. I read it, set it back, and was very surprised! I thought my dad was the only one in the world that would do that. I hope Granger won't try to kill herself again. For some reason, I cared.

She came back and she wrote a few quick words. She didn't know it but I saw them it said

No Mr Granger I can take the pain. If it will make you miserable, I would try again. But I guess the real question is are you feeling lucky?

She handed the owl some bread then sent him off. I couldn't believe it! She wouldn't try again would she? WHY DO I CARE? Then Pansy came over. Great this couldn't get worse! 

"umm Hermione can I talk to you outside for a minute?" she asked Granger. Why did she want to talk to her? Why did she call her by her first name?

"Sure Pansy" Ganger replied and said to me "IF Dumbledore comes by say I forgot something." I just nodded and I watched them walk off when an owl flew in and dropped a letter on me. I knew it was from my dad so I opened it and read.

Son, how is everything going? Well I was at a death eater meeting and before you can become one you have an assignment. You need to find a mudblood Snape said the head girl you live with is one so use her. Get her to trust you then kill her. Do it where Dumbledore wont ever find out. Our dark Lord isn't going to try to get Harry Potter this year with Dumbledore around so we needed something to do. Please fulfil this assignment and owl me back. - Your DaD

I gasped and ran to the common room I threw the paper on the floor of the room and went to my bedroom. I finally started to like Granger, no Hermione, and I had to kill her. The question is can I do it? Do I want to be a death eater? I didn't think I did.

HERMIONE'S POV

We walked out by the lake and I turned to Pansy "I noticed you keep staring at me so whats up?" I said and she looked down. "Hermione I know you wont believe me but my dad is a death eater and well they kinda told Draco to get you to like him and trust him then kill you because you are a mudblood and you live together." My face paled. Was she lieing? I knew I should never trust him. But she could be lieing.

"Umm thanx for telling me Pansy I gotta go!" I said and ran. She called my name and I turned around she said. "Do you believe me?" I shook my head yes and she smiled "thanx!" I nodded and ran into the Great Hall. I didn't see Malfoy at the table. SHIT! Did he know what Pansy was going to tell me? He probably did. I was about to go back up to my room when Ron ran towards me.

"Hey Hermione! Where you been? Why did you come? I am about ready to beat Harrys ass!" he said and I had no idea what he was talking about. "Ron whats wrong with you and Harry now? He sent a letter to Ginny saying "could you really move on that fast? After everything we did together? You moved on. You know I love you! I don't love Collin or Hermione!" I was about to scream but Ron put his hand over my mouth and led me outside. Pansy went back in so I was alone with Ron. How could Harry do this? Did he love me or not? "what the fuck is going on these days Ron? What the fuck is going on?" he shrugged and we just looked at the moon hoping it would guide us. 

NORMAL POV-

What Hermione and Ron werent aware of was at this moment Malfoy was standing in a bush watching them. _How can I kill her? She wanted to die before. I don't want the Dark Lord to come after me and her if I refuse. But I cant kill her._


	11. You Bastard!, Marry christmas bitch! ,no...

A/N okay well I need more reviews please! I posted 2 chapters and got what 4 reviews? Lol sorry but I am not satisfied with myself. Anyways this chapter is well I dunno yet cause it just comes to me when I sit here so on with the show or story!

Disclaimer- read the other chapters they will tell ya that I don't own it!

Hermione's POV

I sat on the lake with Ron for awhile before I came back in. We said goodnight and he told me something was up with Harry and I agreed. Harry was going home with Ron the next day so he would try to find out. I went back to my common room. I silently opened Malfoy's door and saw him asleep so I went to my room got my knife and went into the common room with it.

I sat on the couch with my knife about to cut my arm when I saw a paper on the floor. I picked it up and read. It was from Malfoy's father. Pansy was right he was suppose to kill me! I threw the note back on the floor took my knife and deeply cut my arm. It poured with a lot of blood and I didn't even bother to clean it yet. I just watched it drip and land on my robe. After 5 minutes of watching it I heard Malfoy come into the room. I turned around and he was staring at my knife, my cut, then slowly at me. 

Malfoys POV

I stared at her mouth opened. "WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING TO YOURSELF? YOU PROMISED ME YOU WOULDN'T HURT YOURSELF AGAIN!" I screamed at her and suddenly her face transformed from surprise to anger.

"PANSY TOLD ME I WAS YOUR ASSINGMENT MALFOY! SHE SAID YOU WERE SUPPOSE TO GAIN MY TRUST THEN KILL ME FOR YOUR DEATH EATERS! I ACTUALLY TRUSTED YOU FOR A WHILE YOU BASTARD! I GUESS YOU COULD NEVER CHANGE! YOU ALWAYS HATED ME!" 

"Hermione you have to understand! I wasn't going to kill you! I got a letter just tonite saying to kill you. Just tonight! I am not going to either Hermione you have to understand! Please understand!" I begged. No matter how much I denied it I knew I liked her and I couldn't let this ruin her trust of me.

"YEAH RIGHT! WHAT WAS UP WITH BEING NICE TO ME BEFORE THEN? YOU JUST STARTED BEING NICE THIS YEAR! I DON'T WANT TO HEAR YOUR ESCUSES YOU ASS!" she yelled and ran upstairs crying. I was so hurt that it turned to anger. I yelled after her.

"YOU BITCH!" she slammed her door shut and then I realized something. Her knife wasn't on the counch anymore. I let her get her knife how could I?

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

The next morning everyone that was leaving for holidays got on the train. After that, everyone else was supposed to go to breakfast. I went down and I did not see Granger. After being with the Slytherins for a while in their common room, I went to lunch and I didn't see her there either. By dinner time I did not see her either didn't care now. She never liked me and I realized I only liked her out of pity for being a mudblood with a knife. She could go to hell for all I cared.

Hermione's POV-

I stayed in my room all day. To upset to leave for anything. I hadnt eaten and I was starved but I was not going to eat. After dinner I did go to the common room because it had a fire and I was cold. I read a book in front of the fire when an owl flew in and dropped a letter on me. At the same time Malfoy came in. he looked at me then sat in the arm chair. I looked at my letter and ripped it open.

Hermione- YOU ARE NOT GOING TO TRY TO KILL URSELF AGAIN I KNOW YOU AND I KNOW YOU CANT TAKE PAIN! YOU CANT HANDLE ANYTHING! YOU ARE SUCH A BABY! I AM FEELING LUCKY CAUSE I KNOW FOR A FACT YOU WONT KILL URSELF AGAIN YOU BITCH.

I stared at the letter and growled then I noticed Malfoy was staring at me. I ignored him and through the letter into the fire then I grabbed my knife from my bedroom and ran out of the common room with Malfoy staring at me. I still ignored him.

I went to the Lake and cut myself three times on my arm. I did this quickly and ran back to my room where I noticed Malfoy wasn't there. He was probably screwing a new bitch. I thought. I went to my room and slept.dreaming of my dad. 

*~*~*~*~*~*~

I woke up the next morning on Christmas and went to my common room. Malfoy wasn't their cause it was early. I spotted my presents and went over. First I found my dad sent pictures of my mom and I could feel the tears in my eyes. Then the portrait swung open and Malfoy came in and sat on the couch why was he up so earlier? I continued with my presents despite Malfoy was there and I was sobbing.

The next present was from Harry and it was a book, then there was a note. I read it and cried harder. Malfoy was still staring at me. I read the note over again.

Hermione,

I know I have been a real bastard lately and I am sorry. I was making excuses. This is the real story. This summer I was walking in the park near the Dursleys when someone in a cloak stepped in front of me and shot something at me before disappearing. When I went to Ron's over the summer Mr. Weasley did a test on me and it was a spell to make anyone who had it be confused, tell lies and lose their memory. Yesterday when we got to the borrow MR Weasley found a counter curse and put it on me. Then I got memories back of things I did like saying I was BISEXUAL! Dancing with Colin, asking Ginny out, breaking up with Ginny, telling you I loved you. Ron then told me everything! I AM SO SORRY! I CANNOT SAY THIS ENOUGH! I AM SO SORRY AND I LOVE YOU AS A FRIEND AND I WANT YOUR FRIENDSHIP MORE THEN ANYTHING! PLEASE FORGIVE ME! And Marry Christmas Hermione! -Love, Harry

I couldn't believe it! Everything was now getting better. Harry wasn't BI! I put it to the side and moved on to the next present it was from Ron. It was a silver necklace with the letter H on it. I stopped crying and gasped. It was beautiful! I put it on quickly and found a note from Ron.

Hermione,

I am sure Harry told you all about his curse. We don't know who did it but it had to be a death eater. How are you? Do you like your gift? I hope you do! I didn't know what to get you and I thought Harry giving you a book was to cheap. So I hope you love it! I cant wait to see you again write me soon. Marry Christmas Love- Ron 

I smiled and noticed Malfoy was still watching me! I still didn't say anything but moved to last present. I opened it and took out an object rapped in muggle Christmas paper. I looked at it and gasped. It was a new knife with a sharper silver blade and a brown handle. I turned it over and found an H carved into it. Then I saw a note.

Hermione- Marry Christmas Bitch! You might need this! Even if I hate you I had to get you something! I am still your dad even if I want you to kill yourself with this knife!- MR Granger.

I started to laugh and ran up to my room with my presents. Even if he hated me, he got me something that would come in handy.

Malfoy's POV

I watched as she laughed when she unwrapped the knife and ran to her room. Apparently, she was going to break my promise. I did not care this time I would not stop her from dying but I wouldn't be the cause of it either. I wouldn't kill her. She hadn't eaten for 2 days I knew she would die sooner or later! 


	12. caught. in hermione's case and in the ne...

A/N- alright well I havent been getting reviews. Maybe 3 but not enough. Even if you flame it review it! Seriously I am already planning to blow up a building don't make me blow up the world! Jk! Just please review!

Disclaimer- I still don't own but me and Onsilentblue are going to soon own an island with cloned Draco's. (Even if he is just a book character)! Hey we can dream! LOL right onsilentblue?

Hermione's POV

IT was Christmas night and I still had not eaten. I was being lazy sitting around in the common room thinking about a cake. My birthday was in 2 weeks in fact. (a/n okay I dunno when her Bday is and I don't care!). I doubt anyone remembered my birthday. I would see soon. I was sitting by the fire when the portrait swung open and in stepped Malfoy. HE looked at me then went to his room. After a few minutes of sitting there the portrait opened again and Dumbledore came in.

"Hello Ms Granger! I need to have a word with you." He said and I sat on the couch as he sat in an armchair. "Hmm is Mr. Malfoy here?" he said and I called "Malfoy Professor Dumbledore is here." Malfoy came in and sat on the other armchair. 

"Well this mainly is for you Hermione but Draco might want to know to. All the teachers and I have noticed you haven't been at any meals for two days. Let alone anywhere outside here. I can see your face is pale and you are very weak. I want you to be honest with me. When was the last time you ate?" he asked me and I was shocked. Damn they did notice! Ugh! 

"umm well I guess the morning of the Yule Ball" I said and his expression changed to worry. I could see Malfoy out of the corner of my eye. He was looking down at his feet. Why are people so interested in them this past weeks? 

"lets go. There is a huge dinner for you in the great hall you are going to eat a lot of it. Mr Malfoy as Hermione's roommate I want you to make sure she eats everyday. Both of you follow me." We got up and silently followed him. Great my next suicidal attempt was gone. Now what? There was always just straight cutting my self in the heart or stabbing me. But I have to admit that's too much pain! We got to the Great Hall and there was a table where Dumbledore, Malfoy and I sat. Immediately all kinds of food were on the table. Dumbledore nodded and I started eating. With the first bite I was already sickened. It's strange, if you don't eat for a while then your mouth gets used to nothing. Eating food now was a living hell. I was about to just spit it out but Dumbledore took out his wand said a few words and the food went down my throat. I coughed then decided to just eat it. I ate for 10 minutes then I said I couldn't eat anymore. 

"Ms. Granger I am proud that you ate your food. Go back to your room and be prepared to eat breakfast in the morning. Mr Malfoy please escort her down to breakfast. We nodded and walked to the Room in silence.

*~*~*~*~*~

two days later it was the end of break. I ate everyday. I didn't talk to Malfoy and Harry and Ron were back! I met them at the door of the castle and we hugged. Harry looked at me and I smiled.

"Im sorry Mione." He said and I hugged him. We walked to the Gryffinder common room and they told me about what they did over break. We headed down to dinner after a long talk and ate our food. Dumbledore looked at me and smiled as I ate. After dinner me and Harry went into my common room to talk about everything and Ron went to the Gryfinnder room. We sat in the common room and the portrait swung open Malfoy stepped in then sat in an armchair and started doing his homework without saying anything. Harry and I didn't mind we still talked.

MALFOY'S POV

They didn't seem to mind I was there as I was doing my homework I managed to listen to some words. 

"Mione, you don't know HOW sorry I am! I cant say it enough! You and Ron are my best friends ever! You mean the world to me! I would never do ANYTHING to hurt you! EVER! Can you forgive me?" I heard Harry ask her. I didn't know what was going on but I presumed to listen.

"Harry I love you and Ron SO much! I don't want some curse to get in the way of our friendship. I know I mean the world to you and I am so glad. I forgive you Harry." Granger said and they stood up and hugged IT was a disgusting sight. They walked out of the room and a small thought popped into my head. I wondered what it was liekt o be in Hermione Grangers arms. It didn't matter anymore I blew my chance and I hate her now just like she hates me.

Hermione's POV

I was walking Harry back to the Gryfinnder common room when we stepped in we saw Ron on the couch. However Ron wasn't alone. Ron was on the couch kissing, no seriously making out with someone. That someone was….

A/N I am not good at cliffhangers but oh well! Who is Ron kissing? Once again thanx so much Bonnie! And all reviewers so now REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW!


	13. romance flares

A/N- okay well here is the next chapter I want 43 reviews before the next chapter is up! 43! I have 39 so this should be easy! I WOULD LIKE MORE! Anyways who is Ron kissing? Is Hermione still suicidal even when her life isnt that hard at this point? Will Draco and Hermione ever get along again? Who did Harry like BEFORE the curse? Will it be revealed? But most of all WHO IS RON KISSING???? HERE WE GO!!!!

Disclaimer- don't own still! However, me and Onsilentblue STILL own an island of Draco clones! (Damn I am so lonely I need a guy!)

Hermione's POV

Ron was on the couch heavily making out with none other then Cho Chang. I screamed and suddenly they stopped, stared at us, and Cho pulled her shirt down which was pushed up espousing a little too much. Ron stood up and looked shocked. Harry next to me was gaping. 

"What the fuck is going on Ron?" Harry asked and I held Harry back. Harry liked Cho Chang up until the end of last year when he and Ron got in a fight over her. Apparently, Ron liked her a lot also. In the end, they promised they would each never go out with her.

"You promised Ron! You promised Harry you wouldn't do it!" I yelled and Harry and me ran through the portrait back to my common room. We stepped in and on the couch in the room Malfoy was sitting there reading. 

"Hermione, can I sleep in here tonight? I cant go back there!" Harry said and I shook my head. "Of course Harry I cant blame you. I mean, he promised you! So you can sleep on the couch tonight and then tomorrow classes start and you can talk to Ron about this" I said and noticed Malfoy kept on reading. 

"Thanx so much Hermione! I owe you a lot! You are the best friend ever! I don't want to talk to Ron ever!" he shouted and I hugged him and mumbled "when your ready." We stayed hugging for a few minutes when I noticed Malfoy just went upstairs. "okay well there is the couch let me get you a pillow." I went up to my room grabbed a pillow. Took of the under blanket of my bed and put them on the couch. He laied down and I covered him up. "night Harry." I said and he kissed me on the cheek and whispered "good night Mione" and I went upstairs to my room and fell asleep. How could Ron break his promise?

Malfoy's POV

I watched as they hugged and it made me sick to see. I went upstairs to my room before having to see more. I brushed my hair from its slick backed position and washed the stiff gel out of it. I remembered my book was downstairs so I quietly went halfway down when I saw Granger and Potter again. He kissed her on the cheek and she smiled then she went back upstairs. I would just get my book in the morning. 

I sat in my bed thinking about how I could be in a room with Granger and we never talked. We didn't say probably not one word since our fight. I didn't know why but it saddened me. I sat on my bed thinking when a black owl flew in and dropped a letter on me. I didn't want to read it but knew I had to.

Son- so she figured out your plan eh? Well then I guess you don't have to kill her. We were just informed that one of the death eaters placed a curse on that Potter during the summer. We recently found that he has taken the curse off. Your mom says hi and she will write you letter. Well I have to go. Keep in contact son.

So that was why Hermione said to Harry the other day "I forgive you if it was a curse." It made since now. I was eager to get a letter from my mom. I wanted to make sure she was all right. I didn't give a damn if I got a letter from my dad. If only I was Potter. He is the hero, best friend, most popular, good looking guy in the whole school. Well I was the 2nd good looking next to him. Any girl wouldn't mind being with me. Except Granger. Potter had Granger though. I wondered what it was like to have a friend like Hermione. Someone who cares about you, trusts you, is always there for you, and holds you like she holds Potter. I admitted it to myself I was jealous of Potter because he had Hermione Granger.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Hermione's Pov

I woke up the next morning got ready and went downstairs to Harry. I noticed Malfoy was in an arm chair like always. I was surprised Malfoy didn't wake Harry up. I walked over to Harry and shook him and whispered "Harry 5 minutes till potions you are going to be late." Harry shot up and I laughed. "Just kidding!" I said and he smiled and stretched his arms. "howd you sleep?" I asked him and he laid back down. 

"Horrible. I cant believe Ron broke my promise. I kept waking up in the middle of the night and I would see him and Cho kissing on the couch. With his hands up her robes and uniform shirt if I might add." I laughed and hugged him. "Oh poor Harry. I bet if you were back in 5th year you would have liked seeing Cho that way though. Minus the Ron." He smiled and stood up. "I don't care what I look like I am hungry. Lets go to breakfast!" he said and grabbed my arm. We left through the portrait hole once again Malfoy was left there staring at us.

We got to breakfast and Ron was there. I dragged Harry and we sat next to and across from him. "Harry, there is a good reason why I kissed Cho." Ron said after we sat. Harry didn't look him in the eye but down at his food. "explain Ron. I would be glad to here it." Harry replied. Ron sighed.

"Well there is someone else that likes you Harry. I thought if u both liked each other you wouldn't mind me and Cho." Harry looked confused and I was confused. Who likes Harry? "Lavender likes you Harry. She told me when you were with Hermione last night. During the summer I knew you either liked her or Paravati so I thought you would go out with her." I was shocked but didn't show it. Lavender liked Harry? Very weird. Lavender usually went after Hufflepuff and Ravenclaw guys. Harry looked extremely happy though. He smiled and asked "really? She does?" Ron nodded and Harry jumped up. "I gotta go ask her out! I liked her all summer!" he said and Ran off looking very giddy! 

Ron and I smiled. I was happy Harry found someone. Little did I know, my happiness wouldn't last that long.

After breakfast Ron and I, unhappily, went off to potions class. We sat at the back of the room and noticed Harry wasn't there. Snape came in and looked around. "Everyone is here except for two Gryffindor's. Lavender Brown and Harry Potter." Ron and I exchanged a glance and Snape noticed. " Mr. Weasley and Ms Granger. You lead me to the impression that you know something. Pray tell, what do you know?" just then Harry and Lavender stepped in. Snape shot them a death glare and all the Slytherins laughed. Except for two Pansy and One of the least likely people not to laugh. Draco Malfoy.

MALFOY'S POV

I sat at a table where Granger could see me. When Potter stepped in, I knew if I didn't laugh Granger would notice. I was trying to actually be nice to Potter so she would notice. "Mr. Potter and Ms Brown! How nice of you to join us! Detention both of you tonight. See me after class!" Snape yelled and everyone laughed almost. I noticed Granger looking at me in surprise. I didn't look back at her though. 

"Today class we will be doing a project that will take 3 weeks. I will put you in partners for this project also. With your partner you will research the history of the truth potion. After 3 weeks if I feel you are ready you will have to make a truth potion." He looked at Longbottom. "Some of you will not be ready. Now your partners are as follows. Parkinson, and hmm Goyle. Crabbe and I think Potter." They both groaned. "Weasley and Brown. Let us see where should the last trio member be? Hmm perhaps Granger and Malfoy. Head boy and Head girl." Granger stood up, sat next to me, and sighed. I was again with her. I think fate is taking course. This would be a great 3 weeks. I would prove to her that I would never kill her.

A few minutes later Snape dismissed us and I went to Granger. "so when do you want to do this?" I asked her she shrugged and said "whenever." That surprised me. She ALWAYS wanted to get a head start on things. She must have noticed I was staring at her and she raised her eyebrows to say what? "You always want to get something done first and now you just don't care?" I asked her she shrugged again.

"Well Malfoy that was when I cared about grades. I could care less what I get on this project. However, if I have to work with you I suggest we get it done soon." She said and I nodded. "Just be in the common room at 7 tonight." I said and she nodded and walked off.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Hermione's POV-

It was 2 weeks later and I again was in suicidal mode. Malfoy and I only talked about our project and would finish this week. I could care less. My life was screwed already. Another thing that was big was Harry and Ron. For the past 2 weeks, we did not talk. At breakfast, lunch, and dinner they sat next to Lavender and Parvati. Ron went out with Cho. Harry and Lavender always seemed to be in his room. That or they played quidditch. It was February and we would be having a Valentine's dance soon. (a/n pretend please! If you got a problem with me making this up then get a gun and shoot me) I was not going to go to this 1! Dumbledore made me go to the last and I wouldn't go to this dance! My grades were slipping and I only did homework when I wanted to. Of course teachers noticed and told me a head girl shouldn't act like that. I also started slacking off in the class. I wouldn't raise my hand. If the teachers asked me a question I would shrug. '

Of course everyone except Harry and Ron noticed. There was word of me everywhere. Everytime I walked somewhere people pointed. It felt good to have rumors spread about me. Some people however made the stupidest rumors like "she was bitten by a vampire and her blood is tainted." Me tainted? Yeah right, I was simply misunderstood. 

I was suppose to go down to the common room so me and Malfoy coyld work on our project. I put on a dark black robe over my uniform and went downstairs. By now everyone was used to my looks. I wore black robes and dark makeup. A lot of people said I recently started black magic. When I got downstairs Malfoy was there waiting. I guess I lost track of time because he pointed at a clock. "Opps my mistake I got caught up in something I said sarcastically. He rolled his eyes and we started working.

A/N a huge surprise in the next chapter! This chapter kinda sucked. I am trying to wrap it up so I can write another better fic. So it will be done soon if I get bored. REVIEW


	14. i have a great idea! lets beat HArry and...

A/N- YAY! I got reviews! I am so happy! Thanx to everyone that reviews constantly! Sorry it takes so long for a new chapter but I am failing 3 classes and I gotta get those grades up! Anyways I will try to make this chapter long and eventful but I am not in that good a mood. If I am happy then this will be a good chapter. If I am bitchy then this chapter will have drama and fights! Anyways…..

Disclaimer- I don't own stop rubbing it in! 

Malfoy's POV

I was in the common room studying with Granger about the truth potion and where it came from. She was so different then she was a few weeks ago. She got a new look, all dark, confidence, she stopped caring about grades, and she didn't care if people spread rumors about her. I even heard that she was bitten by a vampire once. Meanwhile my life was still full of drama. My mom sent me a letter saying she thinks my dad is having another affair. She says she has an urge to kill him. I told her go ahead I wouldn't mind. 

"Okay so it says here that along time ago a girl wanted to see if someone liked her. She made a potion and slipped it in his drink one night. Then she asked him if he liked her and he admitted he did. From then on people used the potion bla bla bla bla bla bla…. Okay this shit is boring." Granger said and she stood up. "I don't know about you but I am very tired at this point. We have been doing this for 2 hours and now we know where the truth potion came from. Some lovesick girl wanted to know if some bastard loved her and he did they married and lived happily ever after. Since then lovesick people use the potion to make other people confess their souls out."

I smirked. She sure did change! She would usually want to finish right away and would think that as a fascinating story. "Fine we can finish it tomorrow." I said and I stood up to. "Night Granger." I said and went to my room "good night bastard" was her reply.

HERMIONE'S POV

I was walking back from dinner the night before the dance when Cho and Lavender came up to me. "we want you to stop doing it. Now." Lavender said. I was confused. "Harry and Ron always talk to us about wondering what happened to you. We are their girlfriends not you. Stop making them worry about you. You are just doing this for attention." 

"you guys think I want to be friends or even the girlfriend of Harry or Ron? Not on you bitches lives." I said when Harry and Ron came up to us.

"Hey Hermione. Lavender, Cho. What are you guys talking about?" Ron said as he put his arm around Cho. 

Suddenly her and Lavender started fake crying. "Hermione said if we don't break up with you then she will hurt us. She is jealous of us and wants both of you. Just because she has no more friends." Lavender said.

Harry and Ron looked at me with disbelief. "Hermione why would you do that? Is that why you are dressing in all black and not caring about grades? To make us spend more time with you? Why would you threaten our girlfriends like that?" Harry said.

"like I want you to bastards as friends or even a boyfriend. I would rather die by death eaters then that." I said and suddenly Ron slapped me.

"Don't lie Hermione" Ron said. I couldn't believe he slapped me so I did the only thing I could. I punched him in the face and he fell backwards. His nose was bleeding and looked broken. Then Harry slapped me and I kicked him in the shins making him fall over. 

"you fight like a bunch of girls." I said and walked away. As soon as I entered the common room it dawned on me. I acted like I didn't care about their friendship but I did. I still wanted them as friends. They hurt me so bad though! I noticed Malfoy staring at me. He must have noticed the red on my cheeks from the slaps. 

He raised his eyebrows. "bad day?" he asked and I stuck up my middle finger and went to my room. I grabbed my knife then left to the astronomy tower. They would see. Once I am gone Harry and Ron would see just how much they hurt me. They would feel guilty when I was dead. I would make sure of it. 


	15. RoN, BrOkEn, MaDe Of StEeL, and the in r...

A/N- okay I know this is a DRACO/HERMIONE fic. NEVERTHELESS, I couldn't resist putting Ron and Harrys Pov in here just for a second! Don't yell! Thanx for the reviews also! The story will sadly only have about 4 more chapters because some fics. Are dragged on and I do not want this 1 to. SO here is 1 of the last 4 chapters. REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW and did I mention REVIEW? OH YEAH SORRRY FOR MY SPELLING MISTAKES!

Disclaimer- don't own still. JK ROWLING still does. I DON'T OWN MADE OF STEEL THE BEST BAND AFTER LINKIN PARK, OUR LADY PEACE (OLP) DOES!

RONS POV-

I couldn't believe she would do that! That bitch! Making my girlfriend cry! But wait that ment that Hermione did like me. Still I was in love with Cho! so I did the only thing I could. I slapped her. Her head jerked to the side. She looked furious so I didn't expect it when her hand came flying up to my nose. I fell on the floor in pain. It was broken and bleeding. I looked at Harry and he slapped her. He must have underestimated her also because she kicked him in the shins making him fall over. She laughed coldly I never saw Hermione this way ever. I swear she looked liked hell itself. Her eyes didn't look that sweet brown that made you think she was so sweet. They were dark they even looked blacked. "You fight like a bunch of girls." she said and walked away. I was left stunned. What happened to sweet Hermione Granger? Let alone what happened to me? Why did I slap her? I couldn't move I just saw Lavender helping Harry up and Cho also helping him up. That another thing confused me. Why didn't they help me up? I wondered this as I passed out and everything went black.

NORMAL POV!!!!

Draco went to Hermiones room after she left. He found a note on her desk saying "they will miss me when I am gone." _Oh shit _he thought _I have to go. Its like my dream._ He ran all the way to the astronomy tower.

****

I can be anything that you want me to be  
A punching bag, a piece of string, oh  
That reminds you not to think

He hid behind a pillar and saw her. She leaned over and looked out the window. He saw her crying. Her tears quickly faded and she laughed evily and cold.

****

I found the note down in your car  
And its not your fault it gets this hard  
Gets this hard

Hermione was laughing. Laughing at how bad Harry and Ron would feel when she was gone. Oh the guilt they would have. She would make sure the guilt stayed with them. She pulled out her knife from her robes unaware Draco was there

****

Hold your head high  
Don't look down  
I'm by your side  
Won't back down  
You wanted a hero tonight

She took her knife and slit her knee, ankle, both wrists and top of her arms. She laughed again then started crying. _"go to hell dad go to hell"_ she whispered so Draco could barely here it. _"oh and while you are there take Harry and Ron with you. Those bastards need to learn a lesson." _

****

Well I'm not made of steel  
I'm not made of steel  
But your secrets safe with me

She was about to jump when Draco stepped out of the shadows just like her dream except this time she did see his eyes. She started to sob louder. _How could he always be there when I am about to die?_She wondered

  
**I can be anything that you want me to be  
A holy cross, some sympathy, oh  
That reminds you not to bleed**

"what are you doing here Malfoy?" she asked him. "trying to kill me for your dad? I think I will take that job myself." He shook his head. "no eh? Not here to kill me? Just here to watch me die?"

"Why are you doing this Granger why? You used to be so smart and happy. Now you are suicidal. Plus you PROMISED me you wouldn't kill yourself or try to again!" he yelled at her. She stopped crying and she looked angry again.

"I was happy? Happiness is not a fish that you can catch Malfoy. I broke your promise? You broke my trust! I started to like you and then I find you only want me to like you so you can KILL ME? It was all a little game! I thought I was going crazy to start liking you. I wanted to be with you! All you wanted was to lead me on." She sobbed again. "after all I have been through, that was maybe one of the worst."

****

I found the note down in your car  
And you climbed up here to fall apart  
Fall apart

" I would never kill you! I was being nice to you before I got a letter to kill you! I WAS FALLING IN LOVE WITH YOU!" he yelled and she gasped and looked shocked. "I think I never lost that. I might have been mad because you didn't trust me anymore and I acted like a bastard. That doesn't change how I feel though! You can hate me all you want but I STILL LOVE YOU! DAMNIT! I DO!" She stopped sobbing for a moment and looked into his eyes thinking _he loves me. I can see it in his eyes. Why did I never look in them before?_

****

Hold your head high  
Don't look down  
I'm by your side  
Won't back down  
You wanted a hero tonight

She slowly walked to him then when she was so close she could feel him breathing she threw her arms around his neck. "Please don't tell anyone. I want to tell Dumbledore about what I have been doing. I am to scared though." She cried into his shoulder. He held on to her while she cried.

****

Well I'm not made of steel  
I'm not made of steel  
But your secrets safe with me

"I wont tell just please go to Dumbledore tomorrow and what happened tonight?" he asked her and they slowly broke away.

****

No...  
Your secrets safe with me

they sat on the floor and she turned to look at him. She told him everything. Her mom dying, her dad and Marie, being disowned, harry and ron not spending time with her. Up until only an hour ago when her, Ron, and Harry had a fight. He listened without interrupting. When she was done, he hugged her again. "Why do you care what they think anyway?" he asked her. She shook her head and whispered "I can't stand to have my old best friends hate me. Now I realize that it doesn't matter. They never knew anything about me. You do. They think I am like a vampire now."

****

They knock you down  
I'LL PICK YOU UP!

He helped her up and they walked to his room. He tucked her into his bed and got in next to her. they laied there together with his arms around her and her head on his chest. She slowly stopped crying. Then the world made since UNTIL he spoke. 

****

They laugh at you  
I'LL SHUT THEM UP!

"we cant be together. I love you but I cant be with you." He said but she was already asleep. Well she was pretending anyways. She heard what he said and tried to ignore it. He however knew in the morning he would hurt her with those words. But not right now. Tonight they would both ignore the fact that they could never be together.

  
**But I'm not made of steel  
But I'm not made of steel  
But I'm not made of steel  
But your secrets safe with me  
Yeah**

And they fell asleep in each other's arms. Each finally happy and content. They knew though that, happiness will never be a fish that you can catch. even if something is fixed its still broken, there is pain in joy, there is anger in happiness, there is dark in light, and there is pain in love. They would soon experience it.**  
Your secrets safe with me  
But yeah**

Hold your head high  
Don't look down  
I'm by your side  
Won't back down  
You wanted a hero tonight  
  
A/N okay well that was that chapter! The song is made of steel by OLP and the "happiness is not a fish that you can catch" little saying is the name of one of their CD'S. I am so creative! Lol anyways there will be 3 more chapters! The next 1 will be sad and happy. the 2nd one will be pure pain and sorrow. The last one will end happy! awww! That's shows my split personalities. Sad Nicole and Happy Nicole. REVIEW NOW!


	16. PUNISHMENT AND, JADED! WaRnInG a LiTtLe ...

A/N- hey well 3 more chaps! This 1 and 2 more! I know its suppose to be a romance but we will get to all that mushy I love you fluff later. For now its time for ::jaws music play:: THE BASTARD DAD IS BACK! I do have creativity after all! Yay! OMG my bday was 4 days ago! I got the best crap ever! Lol anyways here we go WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE 

DISCLAIMOR- I DON'T OWN JADED THAT'S BY AEROSMITH! I DON'T OWN HP EITHER!

Hermione woke up in Dracos arms. He was awake already looking down at her he smiled but it quickly faded. She knew he was about to say what he told her last night.

Draco was dreading his next words. He didn't know Hermione heard them last night. "Hermione, I tried to tell you last night we cant be together. We will both die. I love you but we cant."

Hermione frowned. She swallowed hard. "That's not a good reason. Not to me. If you loved me, we would be together. However I respect your decision" she said and got up. She walked to the door and turned back to him. "I will always love you though." With that she turned and walked out of his life, forever. So she thought. Her heart was crushed. 

HERMIONE'S POV

I walked into the halls on my way to Dumbledore's office when I just so happened to run into him. "Ms. Granger I was just looking for you. We have a problem. Apparently, Mr. Weasley is in the hospital wing. To my knowledge, you knocked him out unconscious. His girlfriend and Harry took him to the hospital wing and he woke up shortly ago. Why did you hit them Hermione?" he asked me. I shuddered. Ron unconscious. Then I thought how much I loved that thought. A slow evil smile crept across my face. My eyes I knew turned cold. Still wearing my evil smile, I glared at him.

Just that moment Harry came down the hall. "Well sir, I suppose I have no reason for hitting those bastards, maybe they got on my nerves. They didn't do anything to me except not trust me when I told the truth. I swear on my moms grave it's the truth. My mother is dead to so I have reason to swear on her grave." I said and glared at Harry. I still had a cold looked of evilness on my face. Harry's face dropped, he just now knew my mom was dead.

"Mrs Granger please go wait in my office. Mr Potter I will speak with you later." Dumbledore said and I went into his office awaiting my hell to come.

Dumbledore stepped in. "speak." He said. In the next half hour I found myself telling him about my mom, dad, Marie, being disowned, cutting myself and my own pathetic suicidal tempts. In which I never mentioned Malfoy rescued me. He listened intently. 

"Ms. Granger, I wrote your father a letter earlier. I told him you would be punished. I am sorry miss granger but you have to be expelled. If you are disowned I suppose you can get a room at the Leaky Cauldron and a job their until you have enough money. Then you may go on with your life. While you are living at the Leaky Cauldron, I will owl you your work. Then at the end of the year I will owl your exam. If you do not pass, come back next year. I am sorry. You will leave by floo powder first thing in the morning. He said and I held back the tears in my eyes. I was leaving everything I had none for almost a full 7 years. Tomorrow. I knew it was for the best. I knew I would be happy later.

"okay sir." I said and went to the door when I was about to walk out he spoke. "This is your last night and it's the ball. Make the best of it." I nodded and left. I went to my room and cried. Then a letter flew in. I read it. It was from my old dad.

Hermione- you got expelled? Well you aint coming back here. The baby will be a girl and is due in June. All I gots to say is I am glad you knocked down 2 boys. They must be asses. I never thought you would hurt anyone. - Granger 

I went to my bathroom and took out purple hair coloring. An hour later I had 2 purple streaks in my hair. I put on a purple robe and went back to my room and reread the letter. I went back to the bathroom and Dumbledore's last words came back to me "make the best of it". I would all right. I took purple mascara and put it on my eyelashes, then I took purple lipstick and applied that. I added tons of dark purple eye shadow. Last I put purple glitter all over my face. All this was my moms makeup. She once told me she dressed in all purple on the last day of her school. It was a muggle school and they yelled at her but it was the last day so she lived it up. I would do the same. 

****

Hey Ja ja jaded 

You gotch yo mama's style 

But you're yesterday's child to me 

When it was time for the ball I walked out of my room into the common room. I took a deep breath and walked out I wasn't scared to look this way. Everyone thought I was crazy anyway. I was sick and tired of everything. I usually wore black but it was kinda a been there done that thing now. I walked into the Great Hall and Dumbledore greeted me.

****

So jaded 

You think that's where it's at 

But is that where it's suposed to be 

He smiled and took me over to a table. " I figured you would want to sit like last time." He said and I nodded. He smiled again. "you made the best of it." He said and left. As people piled into the hall they stared at me. Priceless expressions on their faces. I put on my evil smile and ate some food on my table. A lot of boys were looking at me now. I knew I looked like an exotic dancer. This is so great I thought!

****

You're gettin' it all over me 

X - rated 

Every time someone looked at me. I sent them a death glare. That is when Harry and Ron stared at me. Guess Ron was fine. I remembered my dads words saying it was great I beat their asses. My dad made a point. My evil smile returned. I beat the famous Harry Potters ass. I made him fall over and almost cry. Then I made his little sidekick go unconscious. I was feeling great

****

My my baby blue 

Yeah I been thinkin bout you

My my baby blue 

To my surprise Harry and Ron came over to me. I gave them my cold eye look. "Can I help you bastards?" I asked them when Ron sat across from me and Harry sat next to me. 

"Hermione, why didn't you tell us your mother died? You shouldn't have kept that from us. Also, WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO TO YOURSELF?" Harry shouted at me. Everyone in the great hall looked at me. I smiled again.

"Don't like purple? If you liked my whole black look you should of said so. To bad I wont be here to wear that look again."

****

Yeah your so jaded 

And I'm the one that jaded you 

"You mean Dumbledore expelled you?" Ron asked. I had an idea in my head. I made my face look like I was sad and depressed.

"No, that's not it. I just meant when I die. I will not exactly be able to wear black will I? Since I am going to be dead my morning I wont even have another chance." I whispered to them. When you want someone to feel sorry and guilty, use a suicidal attempt.

****

Hey Ja ja jaded 

In all its misery 

you will always be what I love 

"Hermione we loved you. If you kill yourself, we won't feel sorry. You are the one that threatened our girlfriends! You are such a bitch. I just realized I never loved you!" Ron said and him and Harry left.

****

And hated 

And maybe take a ride to the other side 

We're thinkin' of 

We'll slip into the velvet glove 

And be jaded 

Then I was bored. I looked around to see who was with who. That's when I saw the sight that made me wanna go cry my eyes out. I didn't though. Draco was dancing with Parvati. He said he loved me. That was a lie. He said he would always love me. That was a lie. He looked at me and we locked eyes for a second. Then I sent him a look that spoke for itself. 

DRACOS THOUGHT- I have never seen that look before. That look means revenge. It means she is going to have her revenge on me before the year is over. I was only with this other Gryffindor bitch cause I had no one to go with. She asked me I said yes. I would always love Hermione but if I cant have her, why not move on? That look though, it made me feel afraid. For the first time in my life I was afraid of a mudblood! I was afraid of Hermione Granger.

****

My my baby blue 

Yeah I'm thinkin' 'bout you 

My my baby blue 

Yeah I'm so jaded 

And baby 

I'm afraid a you 

(back to Hermione.) I left the great hall and walked outside by the lake. There was a flash of lightning when I realized it was raining. Just in that one flash of lightning, my feelings for Draco Malfoy were shattered. I no longer loved him. I was no longer a person that loved. I hated. I would get my revenge on all of them. When they come back for a Hogwarts reunion in a 3 years, I would get my revenge. 

****

Your thinking is so complicated 

I've had it all up to here 

"What are you thinking about?" a voice behind me asked. I recognized it as that bastard that betrayed me. Malfoy. 

"What's it matter to you Malfoy? Shouldn't you be with your new bitch tonight? I have better things to do then stand here and talk to you. You might as well leave!" I snapped.

HE walked over to me and hugged me. I HATED being in his arms. How could I ever love him? "Hermione you have to understand. I have to move on. We CANT be together." He whispered and I didn't cry.

****

But it's so overrated Love and hate it Wouldn't trade it

Love me jaded 

" You don't love me! If you did, we would be together! I loved you and you betrayed me! PLEASE just spend this one last night with me!" I cried. My feelings came back to me. I loved him again. If he said no, I would get my revenge.

****

Hey Ja ja jaded 

There ain't no baby please 

When I'm shootin' the breeze with her 

"I cant. I have to get back to Parvati. I am moving on. Do the same." He said and left me there. I was so tired and mad. I felt weak. All my emotions whiled around me. It felt like I was on drugs.

****

When everything you see is a blur

And extasy's what you prefer 

I walked back into the common room and I heard a girl's voice up Dracos stairs. Parvati. I was disgusted. I walked to my room and slammed my door. They would all see. HE WOULD SEE!

****

My my baby blue (blue blue blue blue yeah) Yeah I'm talkin' 'bout you 

My my baby blue (blue blue blue blue yeah) Yeah I've been thinkin' 'bout you 

My my baby blue 

Yeah you're so jaded (Jaded) Jaded (Jaded) Your so jaded 

Cause I'm the one that jaded you 

The next morning in Dumbledore's office. I stood in front of a fireplace. I threw the powder in. I looked behind me and smiled. All the teachers were there. Even McGonagall was crying. She wiped a tear from her eye and smiled. I looked at Dumbledore and he smiled to. I turned around and walked into the fireplace. Diagon Alley! I cried out and I landed in the middle of Diagon Alley. My new life was just starting.

****

A/n- okay well there was that chapter 2 more! Yay! Okay if you thought was sad. THE FLUFFY I LOVE YOU CRAP IS COMING! Patience my children patience! Hehe anyways REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW. FLAME ME AND DIE! Heh just kidding kinda,


	17. 3 months later in the land of the flower...

A/N- **ahem** well I am writing off the top of my head so I dunno whats gonna be in this chapter. I have no idea. It might be sad it might be happy. or it might be the last chapter. Sorry I dunno if I can do another chapter I am failing 3 classes cause I blow of my homework.. anyways I might be on lockdown by the people I call parents so I wouldn't be able to write. So this might be the last chapter. I dunno. Just read review, flame whatever.

Disclaimer- don't own Hp. I don't own the song either its called GRAVITY by my favorite band Our Lady Peace. The Made of Steal song was also by them cause they are the best!

Dracos POV- I woke up in the morning in my bed. Everything from last night came back to me. I had a dream last night. It summed up I should be with Hermione. She was right, if I did love her I would take any risk. I got out of bed and walked to her door. I knocked. She did not answer. I quietly pushed the door open. Inside there was no sign of her. I looked in the common room. No sign of her. Now I was worried. Where the hell was she? 

~*~*~**~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

THREE MONTHS LATER. (OKAY Mione's pov will be *~* Dracos will be $* k? its a lot easier!)

*~* It's been a 3 months since I left Hogwarts. Many things about me have changed. Even I am surprised, I never knew I could make it in this world. I'm doing great though. The only thing missing, is love *~*

$* This is the last week of school. It's not that depressing, ive never liked anyone here. Except for her. No one knows what happened to her except for the teachers. They won't tell us though. They just say forget about it. There never was another Head Girl. Dumbledore said we didn't need 1. No matter where Hermione Granger would be. She would always be head girl. She would always be in my heart to. I should have told her. I needed her. I would have taken the risk. I really would have. I just wish I knew she was alive and safe. There are tons of rumors. Mostly about her killing herself. I don't think that's true. Potter and Weasley said they would not feel bad or guilty if she killed herself. They were wrong. they mope around the halls. Their girlfriends admitted that Hermione didn't threaten them. So now they feel especially bad. I know shes out there, I just don't know where. If I did, I would find her and tell her how much I love her. $*

****

Last time I talked to you,  
you were lonely and out of place.

*~* I worked at the leaky cauldron for a while when I got here. I lived in a hotel room. I still work there and I still live there but I am beginning to get quite wealthy. Soon I will buy my own apartment or house. Dumbledore still sends my work. I took the exams last week and I passed. Hogwarts will be ending this week. Which means many people from our school will start coming into the Diagon Alley. I don't know if I could ever see some of them again. What would I do if Harry, Ron, or Draco saw me? *~*

****

You were looking down on me,  
lost out in space.

$* I passed my exams I am so happy. no more will I have to suffer here. Today I was walking back to my common room when a letter flew in. I grabbed it and opened it

Draco- I have news. You might hate the news you might love it. Right now I love the news. Your father died Draco. He got drunk one night and walked down a muggle alley when he was ran over those muggle cars. The dark lord now wants nothing to do with us so we are free. If you loved your father, I am sorry. 

I jumped up and down. This was great news! $*

****

Laid underneath the stars,  
strung out and feeling brave.

*~* I went walking down Diagon Alley. It was nighttime and the stars were shining beautifully. I was confident I would make it in this world. I knew I should not be walking alone I heard the dark lord was planning something. I no longer lived my life in fear though *~*

****

Watch the riddles glow,  
watch them float away.

$*I was laying by the lake watching the stars. The worst was over! My dad was dead! I went from pure giddiness to complete sorrow. There was still something wrong. $*

****

Down here in the atmosphere,  
garbage and city lights,  
you gotta save your tired soul,  
you gotta save our lives.

*~* I received counseling earlier. Dumbledore didn't want to take any chances of me killing all people at Hogwarts that crossed me. I am still in counseling. The counselor is very nice and he is helping me not want revenge. I plan on being in counseling for a long time. I gotta save all Hogwarts lives. I don't want revenge. I don't crave it anymore. *~*

****

Turn on the radio,  
to find you on satellite,  
I'm waiting for the sky to fall,  
I'm waiting for a sign.

$* Why couldn't he die earlier damnit! Then I could be with her! Where is she? Will she ever come back to me? Will I ever see my love again? Will she have moved on? Is she in love with someone else right now? Or does she still love me? $*

****

All we are is all so far.

*~* Does he still think about me? Does he still love me? Or is he now in love with some other girl. If he is in love with Parvati, I don't know what I would do. *~*

****

You're falling back to me,  
the star that I can't see.  
I know you're out there,  
somewhere out there.

$* the last days of Hogwarts flew by. Soon it was the night before I would leave Hogwarts forever. I was going to stay at the Leaky Cauldron for a week while my mom went out of town. We had all my dads money left and she needed to get away. After that I didn't know what I would do in my life. $*

****

You're falling out of reach,  
defying gravity,  
I know you're out there,  
somewhere out there.

*~* I knew Hogwarts would be closing tomorrow. I was scared. A lot of them would stay here till they get jobs. I found a beautiful apartment not to far away from here. I would still work at the Leaky Cauldron but I would have my own place. *~*

****

Hope you remember me,  
when you're homesick and need a change.  
I miss your purple hair,  
I miss the way you taste

$* it was morning. Time to leave Hogwarts. Before I went to the train I went to Hermione's old room. I walked in and sat on the bed. This is where I comforted her so many times. This year was the most dramatic. Who would have thought I, Draco Malfoy would fall in love? I missed her but it was time to yet again move on. $*

****

I know you'll come back someday,  
on a bed of nails awake.  
I'm praying that you don't burn out,  
or fade away. 

*~* I was working at the bar taking drink orders when I looked at a clock. The Hogwarts Express would be near in an hour. 7th years would be here a little later then that. Would they recognize me? I looked so different. Now I was wearing a pair of flare jeans. I had on a black shirt. The sleeves were cut. My hair was down and very smooth and straight. I actually looked good. *~*

****

All we are is all so far  
  
You're falling back to me,  
the star that I can't see.  
I know you're out there,  
somewhere out there.

$* I was walking off the train when I saw Crabbe and Goyle. I walked up to them and they turned around and smiled. "Finally out of school! YES! Hey wanna come to the Leaky Cauldron with us?" Goyle asked I shrugged. We went on walking to the Leaky Cauldron. Time to move on.

****

You're falling out of reach,  
defying gravity,  
I know you're out there,  
somewhere out there.  
  
You're falling back to me,  
the star that I can't see.  
I know you're out there, oh.  
You're falling out of reach,  
defying gravity....  


I know you're out there,  
somewhere out there.  
  
You're falling back to me,  
the star that I can't see.  
I know you're out there,  
somewhere out there.  
  
You're falling out of reach,  
defying gravity,  
I know you're out there,  
somewhere out there.  
  
You're falling back to me.  
Well I know,  
I know.  
You're falling out of reach.  
I know...  


A/n okay I decided I would have 1 more chapter after this! It should be up Thursday or Friday! Hope ya liked this 1 read, review, flame watever just do something! Now I gotta go show my mom my report card… complete with 2 B's 1 C and an A! yay! Ugh… 


	18. the final chapter IN THE SEWER! lol jk! ...

A/N- last chapter **tear** Im.. Gonna… miss… writing…this **ahem** okay well a little to sappy good by things! LoL anyway okay I wanna thing people who ALWAYS reviewed or who told me it was good a lot. First and foremost: **:wipes tear:: **I wanna think Onsilentblue or bonnie. She is always telling me how good it is and encourages me to get past my damn writer's block! Next on my list is forever89, and alley kat because they reviewed since the beginning! Also JAMtilldawn cause her story rocks! And she reviewed almost every chapter! Go read her story! Everyone else that reviewed thanx SO much! I was thinking bout writing another Draco Hermione story but not like this. Just another one different. I havent had any ideas yet so we will see. Anyways heres the last chapter! ENJOY AND REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW! 

Disclaimer- don't own Harry Potter but I own this plot. 

Ps: I LOVE YOU 2 BLACK TIGER! ( he is my cat and he inspires me to write! Sounds weird I know but I love him!!!!)

Hermione's POV *~* Draocs POV $*

$* Crabbe, Goyle and I walked into the Leaky Cauldren and sat at a booth (a/n pretend this is how it is!). A lot of people from Hogwarts were here. I noticed Weasley and Potter in a booth with their renewed girlfriends. We started talking bout we were gonna do in a week from now and they were not going to be death eaters. Their parents were in Azkaban so the voldermont didn't need them. I looked around the Leaky Cauldron when I noticed a girl staring at me. Holy shit that was no stranger… $*

*~* I saw Harry, Ron and there girlfriends walk into the Leaky Cauldron and sit in a booth. Tons of people were here from Hogwarts. Then I saw him. Malfoy was looking the same. Still hot. Him and his 2 sidekicks sat in a booth and started talking. I started taking orders and giving drinks out. I was on break for a few minutes so I sat behind the bar and looked at him. Suddenly he looked up and our eyes met. Grey and brown. Again. I looked into his eyes and saw surprise. Then I slowly saw happiness. My break was over and I continued to give people butterbeers. *~*

$* She looked different, not to different. We held gazes for a moment before she gave out butterbeers. So she worked here hmm. Interesting. Then she came to our table looking down and put butterbeers in front of us 3. She turned around and headed back to work. $*

*~* After I gave everyone orders, the day seemed to go by fast. Soon there were only a few people left. Which were Ron Harry and their girlfriends and Malfoy. He said bye to his friends as they left and he was slowly drinking his drink I got a piece of paper and scribbled something on it.*~*

$* Hermione got me another drink and put a piece of paper on my table. I picked it up and read. Malfoy- room 180 at 9. I smirked. So she did want to see me. I got up and walked out I was gonna go simply walk around till 9. It was only 7. Before I left I turned to her and nodded.. $*

*~* at 8:30 I was in my room getting ready. I didn't want to change cause then he would think I am trying to impress him. So I just put my hair a different way and cleaned up a little till 9 when the door was knocked on. I took a deep breath and answered it. *~*

$* At 9 I got to her door and hesitated. I took a breath and knocked. A few seconds later she opened the door. We stood there and stared at each other for a few minutes before she took my hand and led me into her room. $*

*~*once he was in my room and sat in a chair I sat on my bed and decided silence needed to end. "umm so how have you been?" I asked. Start out simple.*~*

"I've been okay. What about you? You just disappeared. Whats been happening in your life?" 

"Well………….." Hermione started and in the next 30 minutes she told about EVERYTHING! The counseling, working living here, up till her apartment she would probably buy. "SO what about you? Hasn't anything interesting happened?" she asked him.

"My dad did die. Voldermont is off our backs so I do not have to be a death eater. My mom is thrilled and is on vacation. We have all my dads money so she got me a house. Not that big but it's a store story house. Way 2 much for me. Your Xboyfriends found out that their renewed girls lied about you wanting them. They felt guilty the first 3 months you were gone and they still feel guilty! But they took the girls back. Did you talk to them today?"

"Not exactly yet. I will wait till tomorrow. I wanted to talk to you first. So your dad is dead aye? Is that good?"

"VERY good!"

"That's nice. Im glad your mom and you are free from him now. Dads suck."

"I agree. So heard from your dad?"

"No." Hermione said and smirked. "He has a new child now. She might now be thrilled to know her dad is like 55 years old and will be dead by the time she graduates."

"true. He has 1 18 year old he must be old."

They sat there in silence for a while just staring at each other. . Hermione smiled and got up. "Have you missed me?" She asked Draco. He stood up infront of her. He kissed her forehead and smirked. "Yes. Have you missed me? I know I hurt you badly." He said.

"you did hurt me. But I still love you." She said 

"I love you too Hermione and I now that my dad is dead. We could be together." He said she smiled and then they kissed again.

1 YEAR LATER

Hermione and Draco were married 3 months ago and Hermione was pregnant. Hermione talked to Harry and Ron again. They accepted her and Dracos relationship and apologized tons of times for what they did. 

Ron and Harry both play quidditch and so does Draco, they are on the same team and get along. Hermione works for the ministry and is through with counciling.

Mr Granger is still a prat but when Hermione owled him 1 last time to say she was getting married he sent her some money. He currently has a daughter that is almost 1 year old. Marie is fine except she is a bitch.

And they all lived happily ever after!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

A/N YEAH YEAH I KNOW I COULDN'T THINK HOW TO END IT!!!!! It sucked duh! Well I am gonna write a Hermione/ george-fred fic soon. I dunno why I just always loved that pair. I gotta pick George or Fred first though! Anyways Review and live peacfully!!!!!!!! YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


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